Not hiding

It's funny how, when people start talking to me for real, then they realised how objective a person I am. or how my thoughts have my future in store and they start to understand or recognise what I mean by, "I know what the hell I'm doing".

To some people,
it may seem like mistakes. Things to regret over. I beg to differ.
I don't believe in mistakes in general. Sometimes, the mistakes are there for you to make so that you can learn otherwise from it. It makes you a better person. It makes you realise facts that you probably wouldn't have realised before.

I do not have any problems telling you about my weaknesses or admitting to the fact that I suck at certain things or am wrong about some issues. I apologise if I'm in the wrong. People should learn how to apologise. But who am I to impose such thinking on the general masses right?

I guess that's why I have a problem engaging w people who cannot let go and learn to embrace their weaknesses. With people who find a constant need to hide who they truly are. I find beauty in vulnerability. Accepting the fact that you are vulnerable in certain aspects does not make you weak.

In fact, it makes you strong.
It makes people adore you.

It makes me love you for it.

E

Maybe I just need to get used to this feeling

This feeling of not being wanted

I am sad, slightly dejected

I used to mean the world to you

I want to remember you

Or perhaps, the idea of us

You are like fireworks

Short yet spectacular

Wandering heart

I don't have a wandering heart. My heart has always been still. When I like someone, I try as best as possible to make things work, even if sometimes it may involve compensating. I may not be the easiest person to please. Yet, on the contrary, I'm the easiest person to please.

I just want love. Wholehearted loving. The affectionate loving. The sharing of emotions loving. I would like very much to be on your priority list and never ever leave that spot.

My friends say I'm too nice for my own good. I have heard this phrase being said to me for over a decade. I thought, over the course of heart-shattering events, I would learn to be less nice. But, I never got there. Did I? I can't even stand up for myself at home. Just because I care for my mom's feelings too much. I don't want her to get hurt. I wonder how long more I can live in a home that isn't a home to me.

I like to travel because I like to escape. As if, escaping ever helped anyone.

Maybe that's why I need double the love and affection. To make up for all that lost love I rightfully deserve. For once, I would also like to matter a bit.

Bali x photos

The last photo never fails to crack me up. Comes in a series so you could see the entire process of my weirdest friend Corinne trying to jump onto the float whilst I was balancing on it (which is already crazily hard to do). No idea what she was thinking but definitely makes for funny memories haha.

Perhaps for my next post, I could do one on the places we went to eat in Bali.

xoxo